Condensed Banned Books

Alas, it's a bit too late for Banned Book Week, but there's never a bad time to read something that's a bit too naughty. If you're short on time, read these condensed versions of banned books — such as the end of Of Mice And Men:

""Say whad'ya doin?" Curley's wife pouted.
"I bin pettin' the pup," said Lennie. "But it seems ta not be movin'."
"That's cos you gonna' squashed it. Why don' you play with my purty hair instead?"
"Oh naw," Lennie said. "Ah've gonna' squashed her too"
George heard the men coming for Lennie. "What you gonna dun' this time?" he said, placing his arm round Lennie's shoulder.
"We still gonna get us some lan', George?"
"We sure are, Lennie."
"An' rabbits?"
"Lotsa rabbits," George said, putting his gun to the back of Lennie's neck and pulling the trigger, thereby killing the American Dream.

Really, not much worse than a Cliff's Notes.